Truc qui un jour aura un titre, j'en suis sur.

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Truc qui un jour aura un titre, j'en suis sur.

Message par Balvul le Mer 10 Juin - 19:28

Bonjour Bonjour!
Un fantôme sort de l'ombre et un truc!
Comme vous l’avez surement remarque, je ne suis pour ainsi dire pas le membre le plus actif de la communauté (dernière connexion: 2013 vous avez dit?)
Ceci dit, et pour aucune raison, j'ai un truc qui m'est venu, et je me suis mis a l'écrie. Pour encore moins de raison, ça m'est venu en anglais, et j'ai continué comme ça venais, donc désolé a ceux que ça exclu d'office.
Pour tout les autre, voila ce que ça donne. Il y aura possiblement une suite, ou pas; possiblement un titre, ou pas; et certainement pas de publication régulières.
Dites moi ce que vous en pensez (ou si vous en pensez rien du tout...), et enjoy!
PS: je suis incapable de faire une mise en page et du découpage en paragraphes cohérent, donc ben... c'est laid, pas lisible, et pas faute d'avoir essayé.




Awakening


As I lay here, in the forest's overheated atmosphere, I could hear dry leaves cracking near my hears.  My eyes opened to the most beautiful thing my eyes had ever seen. Streams of light flowed through the close knitting of the branches, creating mind-blowing nuances of this green sky, that filled my mind as ink fills paper. A warm rush of wind passed by, and the sky danced through the roof of the forest, creating complex flows of coming and going branches. I lied there a long time, drinking in whatever was over me. The music of the wind was ringing though my hears, as I slowly came to notice the way my body felt. My whole body was numb, as if stuck under something incredibly, my limbs refused to even move, and I felt a slight pain at the back of my head, but I didn't do anything besides noticing. All was still.

After a few hours, and as the wind increased significantly, a small twig fell straight towards my face.
A weird hand suddenly entered my field of vision, half punching, half trying to catch what was rushing towards my face. It then stood there. A gleaming five fingered marvel of mechanical pieces that had suddenly came to rescue me. I felt puzzled. Puzzled enough to dare to let my eyes follow it, through an equally gleaming metal arm, until it reached an elbow that folded downwards, on the right of my field of vision. I wished for it to move away, and it did, instantly responding to my command.

It was now fully extended. I asked for it to come back to meet my eyes and then to turn around, so I could properly observe it and again, it immediately did. The five fingers joined together on a complexly placed network of articulated of pieces of metal that allowed the hand to move around fluidly and silently, even when clenching into a tight fist.
During my exploration of the piece, I came to understand better how to control it, and I soon was able to move the thing around easily. Strong of this newly acquired knowledge and experience, I tried to wiggle anything I could. The result was more than awkward.

As everything was staying still, I had not noticed, but I had three more limbs connected to what I could only refer to as the core of what I was, and on which was also bound my head. Tow of those limbs, those on the side opposite to my head, were longer and had more restricted degrees of liberty than had the arm I had been observing.
I methodically ran through all that I could feel, learning how to control it, much like I had done with my right arm. Whet I felt confident enough, I tried to lift my torso, so that I could observe more of what was around me.
It didn't go as planed.

My uncontrolled leg my legs to clash in a rather loud clang, and I ended up rolling on my left side. I then saw the ground under me figured I could use it to propel me to sitting position using my arms, which worked significantly better. It took me a couple more minutes to master my balance and the rotation of my head, but I managed not to fall. The observation of my surroundings were a secondary concern, as I focused on learning more about myself. I had symmetrical limbs, all of them similar to my right arm, but the legs were covered by a pair of boots that went downwards from the middle of the calves. I noticed also wearing a pair shorts and a black sleeveless top. On my belt where hanging a small handgun in it's holster and a knife, devices of which I discovered the use devices whom uses I discovered long later long later. As my still inaccurate hands unsuccessfully tried to pull them out, I got distracted by the sudden stop of the wind.

My attention went back to my surroundings. Now that I new some about what I was, I decided it was time for me to find out how to move, and what was around. I rolled to my right, and started crawling on all fours for a few meters but I quickly felt two things. Firstly, this way of locomotion was bad, as I could feel that my legs were underused. A whole segment was only resting on the ground, useless. Second, there was something scratching the upper part of my back. I sat down once again and explored my scull with my hand. I discovered long black hairs, tightly pulled in a ponytail, explaining the pain I had felt lying down.

As to address the other matter, I went back to on all fours. I rested my feet firmly on the ground and then straitened my back so that I was crouching. I then pushed on my legs, and instinctively made a few step forward so that I found balance once again.
As I gazed over the forest, looking for something to catch my attention, my view blurred, I lost balance and took support on a nearby tree, and in my head painfully rang a desperate shout: “
NAGASHY!”.

The shout echoed over and over in my head, bouncing in my skull times and times again banging in my ears so loud I was left deafened. Before my eyes flowed countless images. Mad illusions of melted fire and ice, a hypnotic and painful mix of colors. Although it all happening in a matter of second, if felt like hours of endless pain. I was left gasping for air, my lungs burning as if I had been drowning in liquid iron. I stood there, panting, my mouth dry as sand, trying to catch my breath, tears running freely out of my eyes, rolling from my cheeks to my chin, and crashing on the dry soil below. I refused to sit down and as soon as I could, stared strait ahead, frowning.

“That was my name.”

The thought rushed in my mind as an epiphany. “My name is Nagashy.”
Aside from that and what I had observed, I didn't new anything about myself, but I didn't felt empty: I was buzzing with questions.
“How do I know it is my name? What is the point of a name? It is a way to differentiate me from other, so are there others out there? What others?  Like me or... Unlike me?” and the obvious, and yet most preoccupying: “Who am I?”

There was no answering all of this now, not without more information, and my mind was starting to clear up. I let go of the tree, and, in a long and painful grunt, started walking, strait forward. I couldn't have less knowledge of where I was, and for what I could see, everything was the in every direction, so I kept walking forward. I had stopped wondering at every new thing I saw, but as I walked, I found myself enjoying the hike. The heat was strong, but not as much as it had been where I woke up. The trees were high and each a few meters apart one from the other, and the walk was easy. The once level ground had left its place for a gentle slope that descended towards what seemed to be a little valley between tow hills. The air was more and more moist, as I approached it's bottom, and I soon met a little creek that ran on in oversize bed.

I ran and drank strait from the running water, only now realizing how thirsty I had been. I also noticed hunger slowly showing up, now that I was paying attention, but I had not the slightest idea what to eat or not to eat, so I thought it better to wait until it became more critical. But even this insight on my own knowledge of myself surprised me.

“If I can figure out how my body work, I might also remember the rest of it... I probably didn't appear right there, in this forest, not with this name I have. It has to come from somewhere.” thought I. I new I was not event entirely sure of that, but I needed to have something to keep me going, and I also wanted to know more about this world I was walking on.
Got ready to leave again, started to keep on going in the same direction I had been following since I departed, but I thought back. The slope on the other side was a lot steeper, and I did not feel like climbing it, but also I knew from personal experience that water was important, and if it was true,  staying near the water meat increased chances of meeting... Something.

I then had to decide between uphill and downhill. Again, I chose to minimize the effort. I wasn't feeling anywhere near tiered, but I had to decide anyway.
I so settled for downhill, and started running. I had no particular reason to do so, but I was eager to learn more, and the ground was level. I progressed rapidly as the stream of water followed a gentle curve towards the left, and the valley became more and more steep-sided.
I had been running for nearly a whole hour when I came upon a tight turn to the right, marked by a huge rock. As I went around the corner, I paused, impressed by the lake that I was now facing.

The riverbed I had been walking in opened into a wide arc. The black sand of the thin beach was soon swallowed into the electric blue of the lake's water. The cove of the lake I was standing on the edge of was going on for a hundred meters or so, before opening to the much wider main body of the lake. The water was of the same strange light blue, as far as my eyes could see it go, so blue that  even I knew there was something strange to this water. I followed the left-hand shore to get a broader view of the lake. When I reached the main part of the lake, I saw at the far end of the lake small columns of steam coming out of the water. The shores around were clear from any sort of vegetation, but instead was only composed of a deep black stone, that seemed almost as flat as the still surface of the lake. This single block of stone then rose in a semi-circular crown high above where I stood, before being overrun by the forest. From the place radiated an impression of solemnity that shook me to my very bones.

I felt small, and, for the first time, entirely lost. The weight of all my unanswered questions suddenly became to heavy to bear. I closed my eyes and breathed heavily.
“I have to move, there is no answers to my questions here, nor is it a place to rest.”
To my left, the lake soon turned into a river that ran almost to the exact opposite from the black stone. As I made my way towards it, I came to cross several other creeks that fed the lake, some wider than the one I had been following, but not enough for me not to be able to cross it in a single jump. The river was a whole other matter, as it was about twenty meters wide. It's water was of the same supernatural blue as the lake, but it's shallow depth still allowed me to see it's bed all the way to the other bank.

I had barely started following the river that I noticed a deer drinking on the other bank. It was so close I couldn't believe my eyes. Finally I had found something living, something moving, something I maybe could speak to! I was not all that much confident in my ability to swim, I was convinced that I could cross by simply walking against the flow. My heart was pounding as I raised my hand to catch it's attention. It did notice me, but had the opposite of the wanted reaction: it immediately turned around and ran. I on the other hand, froze and watched it go, disappointed.

I went on following the river for another hour. The sky was filling with pink and orange, when my path met with a bridge. It was of a simple but sturdy built, crossing the water in a single stone ark. I immediately climbed on top of it, surprised by it's strange and unnatural appearance, as well as the tow cuts in the forest that the road made on either side. I was leaning over the edge, studying the way it was made, when a small wagon showed, coming from my right. I ran toward it and noticed the look of surprise on the driver's face as he looked at me.

My excitement yet suddenly gave way to another feeling, the one that I had experienced when stood up for the first time. In my head echoed shouts in my head again, but that time nothing intelligible, but mixed screams, shouts, words spoken and whispered, all clashing against each other into a maelstrom of pain. I fell to my knees, holding my head between my hands, an uncontrolled scream of pain spouting from my lungs. My vision faded, the scream stopped pouring out, and everything went black.

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Celui dont les yeux sont moins rouge que ses mains.
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Balvul

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Re: Truc qui un jour aura un titre, j'en suis sur.

Message par Gemstone le Jeu 11 Juin - 7:43

Très très lyrique. Mais juste l'histoire d'un type qui se réveille et regarde autour de lui. Y'a un public pour ça, mais j'en fais pas partie
C'est un petit peu le sentiment quand tu mets des tonnes de confiture, et que t'oublies le pain. C'est pas le style d'équilibre qui plaît à tout le monde.
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Re: Truc qui un jour aura un titre, j'en suis sur.

Message par Lord Penguin le Jeu 11 Juin - 14:20

Pas mauvais niveau d'anglais. Quelques fautes par ci par la mais peu importe.
Sinon, la même que gem. C'le genre de truc qui pourrait plaire a Artsenor Heya . c'pas mal mais faut aimer 83.

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Lord Penguin
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Re: Truc qui un jour aura un titre, j'en suis sur.

Message par DALOKA le Jeu 11 Juin - 15:01

Gemstone a un peu dit le fond de ma pensée, et j'ai la flemme de développer. Je comprends l'intérêt pour ce genre de texte, mais je ne le partage pas. Et je suis nul pour critiquer les one shot donc je vais m'arrêter là Mignon
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Re: Truc qui un jour aura un titre, j'en suis sur.

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